The Life You Choose
This is a story written by Tyrone. Thank you for reading if you it.
The accident left Rose blind and mute. Cletus didn’t hardly suffer but for a few broken bones.
The two were driving back from their Honeymoon when it happened, not too far, just out west a bit, so as to enjoy the dryness of the season. They hadn’t known each other more than a few months when they got married. It was a love at first sight type of story. They were young and happy and had aspirations, some would even say dreams and plans, for their future. Now, two years after the accident, it was all Cletus could do to care for Rose and pay the bills and it was all Rose could do to navigate in this new world of hers.
Once a month the couple would drive out to stay with Rose’s parents for the weekend. It always put Rose in a better mood to see her folks and with her depression really worsening this past year these trips took on more and more importance. Aside from being blind and mute, Cletus figured most of that sadness Rose had was likely bred out of frustration; frustration from believing she’d see again and then not seeing, frustration from thinking she’d speak again then not speaking, but what did he know, he didn’t pay attention to her now like he did that first year. Still, he took her out to church every Sunday, took her to all her doctor appointments, tried to get her out of the house as much as he could, but he was tired and felt the weight of their reality a bit more every day bear down upon him.
The weekends at her parents were a nice break for Cletus. Her parents would look after her and he would take the time to relax. Maybe go hiking or even go fishing with Rose’s pops. He and Cletus got along well enough and it was nice to have someone to talk to. Of course Rose’s folks would come into the city and visit about once a month, but it wasn’t the same. Cletus had to play host, a role he hated, and really, it just felt like more work, more weight, than anything else. Rose loved it when they visited though. Especially when her ma stopped by. She could always make Rose laugh, a laugh that Cletus fell in love with, but now sounded more like a pig chortle than anything else and secretly he found himself repulsed by it.
Rose’s ma, Emily, greeted them at the door when they arrived. She was always so nice and sweet. Cletus liked her and wished he could make Rose laugh like her ma always could. He didn’t see Alfred, Rose’s dad, which meant he likely hadn’t made it back from town yet. He always went grocery shopping the days Rose visited, wanted to make sure she had the freshest fruits and vegetables. They were good parents, Cletus thought, far better than his own. Heck, he hadn’t even talked to them in at least five years. He was sixteen the last he saw them and had just enlisted in the Army after those Japs bombed Pearl Harbor. Then off he went to fight and he just never got around to telling his folks he was back. He always figured he’d visit them, let them know he was alive and well, just never could settle on when to do it was all.
Emily helped the two get settled in the guest bedroom, which was really Rose’s old room. It made Cletus happy to see her back home. She moved around the house with such ease, you’d never imagine she couldn’t see a thing. He’d even forget she couldn’t see and couldn’t talk and go and do something like ask her a question and stand there waiting for her to say something. He cursed himself for being a fool like that. Made him feel like an idiot. Still, he liked it here, he liked seeing her like this. It was like she was a different person entirely, like she was the Rose he knew before the accident. Two years, Cletus thought, you’d think we could’ve come up with a better way of communicating in two years.
The weekends always went by so fast up here and before Cletus knew it, it was already Sunday morning and he could feel that weight sneaking up onto his shoulders. That all too quiet drive back home lurking in front of him like a specter. The week ahead, hell, he couldn’t bear to think about the week ahead.
After Sunday morning mass, Emily pulled Cletus aside and said she needed to speak with him for a few minutes. Emily started by thanking him for all he had done for Rose and Cletus prepped himself next for the round of ‘bless you’s’ that always followed. But Emily hit him with something altogether different and unexpected this time. She told Cletus that her and Alfred would be moving out near Tulsa, a two-day drive from where Cletus and Rose lived now. Emily said her sister’s husband had died a few months back and now her sister had taken ill. Emily and Alfred were going to go and take care of her and her sister’s children. She asked him to promise not to tell Rose until she had a chance to do so first. Said she planned to tell her when they came into the city to visit them next. She knew it’d be hard on Rose, but that Rose had him to look after her now, Emily explained, and there was so much comfort in that. They wouldn’t be able to do this if Rose didn’t have someone as capable and amazing as Cletus to watch over her. He’d been so great and accomplished so much with Rose these past two years that she knew they’d both be fine and happy for a long time. And God bless his soul for all he had done.
The drive home was as silent as it always was, save for the static from the radio as Cletus fiddled with the dial. Finally, like always, Cletus gave up and turned the radio off. He started making an inventory of the things he could do for Rose once her folks moved out of town. Maybe he could find her a job, he thought, or maybe hire an aide. Hell, they didn’t have money to hire on any help. Christ, he realized he needed Emily and Alfred just as bad as Rose did. And he wasn’t one for needing people. The realization of this made him feel sick. Then Rose grabbed onto his arm and motion towards her belly. He squeezed her hand and told her they’d pull over at the next exit. As he drove, Cletus kept on thinking about what he was going to do with Rose and the more he thought about it the heavier that weight began to feel, the more it kept on pressing down on him.
He pulled over outside a truck stop diner and ushered Rose into a booth. He told her he just had to use the bathroom and he’d be right back. He walked into the men’s room, splashed some water on his face and ran his fingers through his hair. Then he took out some paper and a pen, scribbled down a few notes and walked out to the front counter.
“I’ll be with you in just a minute, darling,” the waitress called from down across the counter. A minute later she stood in front of Cletus. “Well, what can I do for you and that pretty little bride of yours?”
Cletus acted surprised. “What?” he asked, turning back and looking and Rose. “Oh, she ain’t my wife. In fact, she’s what you could help me out with. See, I’m in a bit of a hurry, just pulled over to fill up on gas really, but I found her a spell down the road just walking. Didn’t seem right, you know. So I asked her if all was okay and she didn’t say a word. Got to thinking maybe she’s a simple gal and just got to walking, so I brought her on in here, first place I saw. Was wondering, you ever see her before?”
“Why no, I haven’t. And I know just about any regular that comes on through here. And they don’t look at all like her, mister,” the waitress replied.
“Well, what about this,” Cletus asked handing over a piece of paper to the waitress, “she was holding on to this when I picked her up.”
The waitress looked at the paper and then back at Cletus and said, “This girl’s a bit far from home, mister. This town is at least a three hour drive back that way.”
“You don’t say,” said Cletus. “Wonder how she ended up all the way out here?”
“Poor thing. Did you ask her?”
“Sure did, but she don’t talk any.”
“That’s right. You said you thought she was one of them simple folks,” the waitress said, peering over at Rose. “I had me a cousin was simple. Died a few years ago.”
Cletus took out a couple dollar bills and handed them to the waitress. “Look, I can’t help but feel responsible for the girl. I did bring her here after all, but I really do need to get going. I’m already going to be late as it is. If it isn’t too much, could you make her up a sandwich or something. Maybe call the number on that paper. I bet if you called it someone on the other end of it would pick up the line and come running for her.”
“Of course, mister,” the waitress told him. “But please hold on to your money. Girl just got herself in a spot of bother and it’d be no trouble at all to fix her something to eat and make a simple phone call.”
“You positive,” Cletus asked, handing the waitress the money a second time.
“Of course, mister. You done more than your Christian duty already by the sounds of it. I’d be happy to take over from here.”
“Well, gee, ma’am. I couldn’t thank you enough,” and with that Cletus walked over to Rose, whispered in her ear and walked out to his car.
Cletus started up the car and stared through the window at Rose. He turned the radio on, but still nothing. Then he saw the waitress approach Rose’s booth and he drove off. As he drove he continued fiddling with the radio until finally he got some reception. It was Singin’ Sam the Barbasol Man and that commercial jingle: “Barbasol, Barbasol…No brush, no lather, no rub-in…Wet your razor then begin.”
And then the radio cut out. Cletus just turned it off and drove in silence. Without even being conscious of it he started singing, “Barbasol, Barbasol…no brush, no lather, no rub-in…wet your razor then begin.” Cletus caught himself singing, laughed, then fiddled with that dial some more all the while singing, “wet your razor then being…wet your razor then begin…”